Sunday 26 July 2020

Insomnia


A mini-blog/reflective journal, from a self-confessed air-head.


Insomnia
Photo of some pillows on a bed
Photo: Rhema Kallianpur


[Content note: I briefly talk about menstruation in this post]



I've been an insomnia sufferer all my adult life.  I'd love to make some reflections about how I've had some really insightful ideas occur to me in the middle
Close up of a notebook on a flat surface with a pen laid upon it
Photo: Aaron Burden
of sleepless nights, but that's nothing more than some wishful thinking right there.  The most profound thing that's ever occurred to me in the middle of the night was to wonder whether it's possible to die from insomnia!

My insomnia pattern used to be a cyclic one, whereby I'd be wakeful every night for a fortnight then just when I was feeling like a total walking zombie it'd resolve itself and I'd be able to sleep for a couple of weeks before the pattern would repeat itself.  For ages I'd meant to record whether the cycle coincided with my menstrual cycle, but I never got around to it.

If you've read some of my previous blog posts you'll also know that I've a chronic health condition, too, and consequently suffer with continual fatigue.  So when my insomnia became an almost permanent fixture I returned to my doctor (not for the first time) and was finally given some medication which helps
Photo of a bed with extremely rumpled bedding
Photo: Priscilla Du Preez
me sleep some of the time (amitriptyline).  So, for the moment, I've missed my opportunity to track any patterns in my insomnia, other than I know I sleep worse when I forget to take my dose on a given day. 

Don't get me wrong, here, too; I'd tried all the recommended 'sleep hygiene' things and some non-prescription sleep aids (both off the shelf and over the counter) for the insomnia prior to turning to prescription medication.

I'm not really sure where to go from here with my physical and mental health.  I recently watched a TED talk about the importance of sleep for the immune system (among other things - pretty much everything, it seems).  And it mentioned how sleep induced via soporific medication is not the right kind of sleep for this beneficial and rejuvenating effect.

So in view of the above, I should be looking to come off those tablets.  But recently I had to increase my dosage because the insomnia had returned despite my original dose.  So there's no way I can face coming off these meds, at least not now.

On top of this, another thing I suffer with is restless legs syndrome.  This tends to mean that when I'm wakeful (for whatever reason), my RLS will usually kick in and then there's no getting to sleep, regardless of whether I can think of a way to combat the initial wakefulness-causing thing.

Medical investigation wise, I imagine the next step would probably be a sleep clinic but I can't imagine suffering through that - I can't sleep with anything (sleep mask, pyjamas, my wedding ring - anything) on my body other than bed clothes, so there's no way I'd sleep with all electrodes strapped to me.

I guess my plan of action will be to perfect that sleep hygiene and my 'bed time routine', get it down to a really fine art and then give it a period of time to really bed in (haha).  Then when my unconscious mind really comes to associate all those actions with getting a good night's sleep, maybe I can taper my dosage.  Perhaps then I'll be able to sleep like a normal person.

I feel like it's going to be easier said than done though.

There's not really any point to this blog post this time; except, perhaps, putting my plan of action 'out there' in hopes it'll maybe hold me --in some way-- to it.

Another photo of a bed with rumpled bedding
Photo: Dex Ezekiel

Photo of a clock showing the time:  11.01
Photo: Damian Patkowski




Bonus tree photos:


Photo of a dark sky at twilight with pine trees in the foreground
Photo by Nick (Unsplash)
Photo of a sky at twilight with trees in the foreground
Photo: kilarov zaneit

Photo of stars emerging in the sky at twilight with trees in the foreground
Photo: Josh Felise
Photo of a dark sky just after twilight with pine trees on the horizon
Photo: Nathan Anderson




Photo credits: all photos from Unsplash






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