Optimism

A mini-blog/reflective journal, from a self-confessed air-head.

Optimism

I'm probably a natural pessimist, if I'm honest.  I tend to look for the pitfalls in things, and my outlook is: 'prepare for the worst/hope for the best' (or possibly the other way around).  I'm naturally cautious and wary of new things; a sort of motto of mine has always been that it's human nature to be resistant to change (which I believe to be broadly true, but it also lets me off the hook as regards trying new things etc).  ❕

In the past, however, I've struggled with self-esteem issues, overthinking and sometimes giving myself too hard a time over some -often- fairly minor things.  Oh, and I have a tendency to catastrophise when something goes wrong or there are bumps in the road.  All of which can be really draining (and may arguably have contributed over time to physical health conditions I'm now experiencing, such as chronic inflammation).  😬

So it's been helpful for me, over time, to work toward a more positive outlook and way of being.  (But I couldn't call the blog 'Positivity', because I've something else planned for 'P'!)  😀

And it did involve a certain amount of work, so this post is not a recipe for instant optimism.  But I thought I'd share here some of what I've found helpful, in hopes it might also help others in their journeys.  (Please also see the end of this post, however, for a note about toxic positivity, and about picking & choosing the advice you decide to accept, or otherwise*.)

General actions/activities:-

Breathing

I've included this because breathing can affect your mood, for example if you're breathing too quickly or shallowly in a moment of tension or anxiety, it can make matters worse.  This can happen to us without our really being aware of it.  But conversely there are some simple things which can be done to take back control and actually improve how we're feeling, too.

Almost everyone has probably been advised to take a deep breath at some time in their lives.  Well, even better, I recently learned a simple but, for me, life changing technique known as 'the physiological sigh'.    🀀

And because it's so simple, I actually remember to do it, even in moments of really high stress (which is where it differs from most of the other breathing techniques I've ever learned).  I don't even have to step away from what I'm doing, or take 5 minutes out (which, though brief, is still pretty unrealistic for me), or whatever.  I can literally just do this wherever I am, in less than a minute.  So I really recommend this one.  🀃

Also, as the neuroscientist himself says in the podcast, it's almost impossible to control the mind with the mind, so it's really helpful to have a physical action which can be carried out, especially a quick and simple one like this.  🀂

I learned about the physiological sigh in this podcast: Andrew Huberman & Lewis Howes - YouTube
But also here is a YouTube video in which this neuroscientist demonstrates the physiological sigh fairly simply and more concisely.  🀁

Create a mantra, if it feels right

Years ago I created a personalised 'mantra', along the lines of a positive affirmation.  If you're not familiar
with positive affirmations, this involves telling yourself that you already embody the quality/ies you wish to develop, for example "I am feeling relaxed" or "I am creative".

Now, I don't go in for the "I am wealthy" style of affirmations personally, because while there may or may not be something to them (I guess) I can't really get on board with the idea that these can magically work to create wealth out of nowhere (do an online search for laws of attraction if you don't know what I'm talking about/want to learn more -- also, see the next point below).  💸

But I do think mental repetition of something achievable which you feel you need, such as "I am feeling contented" or possibly "I am an optimist" can have the potential to be beneficial.  I've heard that some people do affirmations in the mirror, and I sometimes do them while I'm showering.  But mostly I repeat the mantra silently to myself, over and over, in time with my steps whenever I walk anywhere.  I find it really helps me to work toward feeling more contented (or whatever), and this past year with the pandemic (and walking less) I've felt I've suffered a bit without it.  💭

(Do your due diligence

This may seem an odd recommendation to be on this
list, and it's true that it is out of place. But I felt it important to say something about this, as there's a tonne of stuff out there on 'how to be positive' & etc, and not all of it is going to be right for everyone.  So if you're not already familiar with being sceptical about what someone says or writes, it's a good idea to try and pick up these 'due diligence' skills so you can better separate the helpful from the unhelpful.

If you're not up for an online critical thinking course or something, then even just discussing the ideas you read about with your social circle can potentially help you get another perspective about them.  And remember that just because someone's published an article, or created a podcast, or whatever, doesn't necessarily make them an authority on the subject matter, or to be believed without any second thought (including me!)  🖉

(Scroll down for a link to the Future Learn website, which periodically offers a free short online course in Critical Thinking skills.))  🕮

Exercise

You've almost certainly heard it before, that exercise can help with things like anxiety and depression.  And I know it's true, so I've included a link to the NHS's free 'fitness studio' (selection of videos), here.  There are also some videos geared toward those with chronic health issues such as back pain or fybromyalgia.

I also believe that it's important to engage in a form of exercise which you enjoy, as that can otherwise be a barrier for many.  So I've included a couple of links to videos I find helpful when I'm trying to get motivated to exercise, or if I'm feeling too tired to exercise 'properly'.

• The first is: 6 Healing sounds Qigong - YouTube -- doing this often then gets me in the mood for some tai chi.
• The second is: Intro to Luohan Patting Method for Healing - YouTube, which involves a small amount of exercise (well, movement anyway) in itself.  Again, this helps get me in the mood for tai chi or yoga.
• Finally, here's a favourite brief tai chi video and then there's this lovely relaxing yoga video, for in bed (because even the 'beginner' level pilates for fibromyalgia video on the NHS fitness suite mentioned above is a stretch for me, if I engage my core properly).  No pun intended.  🏃

Diet can also play a large part in helping to manage mental wellness, but I'm the world's least qualified person to talk about that so I've left it off the list, but just putting this link to the 'Food and Mood' section of Mind's website, here: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/food-and-mood/about-food-and-mood/  🥪

Meditation

I keep reading how helpful this is for almost everyone so I felt I had to include it on the list.  There are many, many different types of meditation so there's bound to be one out there somewhere which is right for you.  From the simple, gazing into a candle flame for example, to an elaborate guided meditation, to really complicated (in my view!) breathing techniques.  Even a form of moving meditation, such as tai chi, yoga or 'forest bathing' with a walk in nature can be really beneficial.  🌳

There are a selection of yoga and pilates videos available, for free, here.  (And then of course there's YouTube.)  🧘

There are loads of apps for guided meditations these days (so I won't list any), but a longtime favourite website of mine for this, with a selection of free short meditations, is Meditainment.  💭

Specific resource recommendations:-

Jason Stephenson on YouTube -- sleep meditation, music & etc

I include this channel as I particularly like the positive affirmations tracks he has made available, such as this one: Guided Sleep Meditation for a Positive Mindset, Sleep Talk-Down With Affirmations - YouTube

Jason has several YouTube channels, including The Awakened Mind  🎧

He also has one, approximately 45 minutes long, designed to help with sleeping, available for free download here:

https://www.empoweredsleepformula.com/lp/sleep-meditation/free-sleep-meditation  🛏

Something about Jason Stephenson's voice is really relaxing to me, and I like the style of his affirmations, for reasons I can't quite articulate -- I just feel he's on the right wavelength for me, I resonate with what he's saying (to use a bit of a buzzword).  Your mileage may of course vary.  😴

Mental Health Foundation 'podcasts'

This site has a number of free recordings which you can download or stream, here: Podcasts for your wellbeing | Mental Health Foundation  

I particularly like the one entitled 'Wellbeing and Positive Thinking'.  It doesn't harp on about stuff you should or shouldn't do, it's just a gentle guided meditation for harnessing the energy of remembered wellness, in their words.  It's really pleasant, not too lengthy and again the voice of Dr David Peter's, who voices the recordings, is really relaxing to me (although there's sadly a loud woman reading a disclaimer at the start and end, so I made 'trimmed' versions of the MP3s with those bits removed, for my own use).  🌞

My Noise website

There's a sound generator on the site called Happy Place, but there are also hundreds of others so you're certain to find something which calms &/or lifts you according to what you need.  The site is free, but the creator does ask for donations -- the site is so chock full of really neat features, I feel it's well worth donating.  You also get an MP3 of your chosen sound generator to keep if you donate a certain amount (the length of the MP3 depends on how much you donate).  Well worth it, as I said.  🎧

Anthony Metivier YouTube video

Two Easily Remembered Questions That Silence Negative Thoughts | Anthony Metivier | TEDx - YouTube

These two simple questions I've found really work to guard against overthinking/rumination, and (similar to the physiological sigh) it's a really simple method which I can actually remember to do, unlike some others.  The TEDx talk is not long, so it's worth listening to and the questions really are easily remembered, as 'advertised'.

I won't give any spoilers here, though.  💭

Wellbeing steps x 5

The NHS recommends these 5 steps to mental wellbeing (which include being physically active).  They also include learning something new, so here are a couple of links to sites which offer free (in some cases) online learning courses of varying lengths/levels: Future Learn and Open University.  There are almost certainly also other sites too -- please feel free to share details in the comments.  🕮🖉

If you're not into or don't have time for 'proper' -or structured- learning, there are various YouTube channels which are factually oriented and also interesting which could help expand your mind more informally -- as well as TED Talks, which cover all sorts of topics, I recommend these two channels (which are both largely food focused, but they do occasionally cover other topics too):-

• Adam Ragusea
• How to Cook That

Try sharing the information you pick up with others, as it helps you to retain it in your own memory, too.
(But don't forget about your due diligence as you hop down that Yabbit hole!  And, it's a good idea to think about things like setting limits with your time spent on social media.)  ⏳

And if, like me, you're keen on volunteering (i.e. giving your time to others) but have limited time &/or energy, please see this citizen science sort of site:

https://www.zooniverse.org/.  There's also a community of sorts attached to this, if you're feeling starved of interaction with others.  💻

What else?  Do you have other things which help you to maintain a positive mindset, or to restore your optimism after you've had a set back?  Let me know in the comments.  😃

*A note about toxic positivity.

I wasn't really aware that this was a thing until recently when someone had to explain it to me.  I do recall one previous counsellor once telling me that the subconscious mind listens to everything you tell it!  Fortunately for me, that motivated me to learn to catch myself in negative thinking and instead cultivate a positive thinking outlook, including coming up with my helpful mantra.  But it could have easily had the opposite effect, as I've learned more recently.  Everyone has the right to do life in their own way, and everyone should be free to seek & find the strategies and coping mechanisms which work for them.  Some of these might be unhelpful longer term, but they may work for some people in the short term.  It's not for someone else (except perhaps a trained psychological professional, whom you trust and work well with) to say.

Whatever else, we're all intrinsically worthy as human beings and no-one should be dictating to us how to live our lives and how we 'ought' to be thinking.  I hope some of the things shared here are helpful to some folks.  If not, please disregard.  👍

And have a very pleasant day, whatever you're doing.  😃

Photo credits (all photos from Unsplash):  flower by Sandy Millar;  grimacing emoji balloon by Bernard Hermant;  shadow-work notebook by Priscilla Du Preez;  'breathe' by Sanny Sahil;  balancing rocks by Brad Switzer;  books by Aaron Burden;  running shoes by Hipkicks;  Tibetan singing bowls by Magic Bowls;  sleeping cat by Alexander Possingham;  beech by Chris Galbraith;  headphones by C D-X;  ?? by Jac Alexandru;  dice showing 5 by Jonathan Petersson;  speech bubble by Jason Leung;  warning triangle by Jurgen Dekker;  glasses and written note by Sincerely Media;  trees/lake by McKayla Crump;  trees/meadow by Baciu Cristian Mihai.

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