Why I don't consume news

    In short, it's too depressing.

    When I was a kid, my Mum used to get really quite upset watching the evening news each day.  So I learned that the evening news was upsetting.  Therefore even if the news of a particular day was on the downright dull side, I feel like I was pre-programmed to be upset by it.  And on the days when the news content was outright distressing, I was even more so.  And consuming this day in day out...  Well, ultimately I made the decision it wasn't doing my mental health any good.

    I've never really been a reader of newspapers anyway because I believe I've an allergy to the ink, albeit mild.  It causes a familiar scratchy sensation in the back of my throat.  It's familiar from when I've consumed certain foods which I think I'm mildly allergic to as well.  And if I ever accidentally get the ink from my fingertips into my eyes... well, it definitely isn't worth it.

    However, for a while I used to read the free newspaper (carefully) on the train to work on days when I'd forgotten my book.  I didn't think that occasional news consumption would be too bad.

    But I later 'banned' myself from doing that, after an article exposed me to a distressing case of animal cruelty.  I don't recall the title of the article, but I made the mistake of reading the piece.  There was a detail included I wished I'd never, ever read.  It stayed with me, causing me intense distress for days.  It still flashes involuntarily into my mind on occasions.  (I'm obviously not going to recount the detail here, because I wouldn't trigger anyone else with it for the world.)

    I also don't read what I call 'trashy' magazines anymore, for a similar reason.  (Things like Take a Break and Chat.) An article about the tragic consequences of certain mental illnesses contained a detail of how someone had ended their life.  It was graphic - not the photo alongside the article, of course, but the description of what had happened.

    In both cases, it hadn't been possible to tell from the title of the article that the piece was going to contain a detail of that sort.  I felt it'd been sprung upon me, with little warning.

    So, it isn't worth the risk to consume news.  I've painstakingly ensured that Google and YouTube etc do not show me news headlines, so I can't be tempted to click.

    I can always go and look specifically for coverage of something if, say, I overhear someone discussing anything topical and I want to find out what they're referring to.  Or if I want to be updated on the latest Covid restrictions I'll go straight to the dot gov site.

    It does mean that I don't stay abreast of what's going on in the world of politics, of course.  However, I like to believe that my research skills are sufficiently good that I'm able to make informed decisions come election time.  The press is pretty biased anyway, so you're better off going direct to sources you trust and doing your due diligence.

    My mental health is definitely better off for this decision.  A news boycott doesn't fix everything - especially when there's chronic physical ill-health in the picture, as for me.  But it has helped.

    If you don't want to go for a full news boycott yourself, I recommend considering the following.  This I've seen recommended by numerous 'lifestyle' YouTubers* and in other places.  Consider having ½ an hour free of device screens either last thing at night, or both 1st thing in the morning and last thing before bed.

*E.g. Simple Happy Zen - YouTube

Cookies/data

European Union laws require that EU visitors be given information about cookies used and data collected on this blog.  Google/Blogger have added a notice on this blog to explain Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies, and other data collected by Google.  If this notice does not display and you are in the EU, please will you notify me in the comments section.  Many thanks.

Behavioural Activation

    If you read my post on Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, you may recall that I had a not great experience of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy for anxiety in my younger days.

    Latterly, it was recommended to me to self-refer to the local mental health service (short version of the story: my general practitioner's concluded my fatigue must be due to depression...  I'm not convinced, but anyways.  I digress).

    My local mental health service offers two things, it seems: Behavioural Activation, and CBT.

    So, I had a 6 week course of Behavioural Activation.  And I engaged with the process as best I could, 'attended' all the sessions (they were by phone), did all the homework (which I fitted around my full-time job).  Etc.

    In short, this 'therapy' aims to take a depressed person and have them reintroduce activities which they've been putting off (both routine and pleasurable).  By doing this a little at a time, it's meant to avoid the 'boom and bust' cycle of doing too much and then being worn out.

    6 weeks of this left me thinking: how is this meant to help someone in my position?  Do I feel that my long-term chronic health condition has (combined with stressful work conditions) given rise to a level of depression?  Yes.  Does my depression doesn't prevent me from working?  No.

    It's the other life stuff that I don't have the time and energy for (household stuff, and going out anywheres).  And a course of BA isn't going to do anything to change that, honestly.  Because mixing up chores with more pleasurable activities is what I've been doing, instinctively.  But I still don't have enough energy for everything.

    At this point, having completed the course of BA, they've referred me for CBT.  And in week 1 the therapist said that BA is really for those whose depression is so bad they can't actually work.  Ah well, nevermind, it was only a waste of a total of 3 hours of my life (not including the 'homework').

    But, I'm really only doing this (and the subsequent course of CBT, too) to appease the doctor's surgery, anyway.  So that they can then hopefully acknowledge that not everything with me is just down to depression.  And do some more investigation.

    I didn't start writing this blog post in order to be negative, though.  I can see where BA could be of use to some patients.  My spouse, for one, if he'd engage with it.

    My one takeaway from BA is the notion of 'lift' and 'drop' activities, as a useful way to remember to intersperse enough fun and pleasurable things in amongst the mundane and routine.  An excuse to take naps!  Now, that I can get on board with!

    I've copy-pasted some links, below, if any readers would like to learn more about BA.

• NHS site (scroll down to read about BA)
• Getselfhelp.co.uk
• Talkplus.org.uk

Cookies/data
European Union laws require that EU visitors be given information about cookies used and data collected on this blog.  Google/Blogger have added a notice on this blog to explain Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies, and other data collected by Google.  If this notice does not display and you are in the EU, please will you notify me in the comments section.  Many thanks.

How do people see me, I wonder?

    In the shower I was repeating affirmations (Powerful Positive Morning Affirmations for Positive Day) when I suddenly wondered how other people see me.

    I can't recall which one of the affirmations in particular triggered this thought.  But I guess it was one of the "I am happy" ones.

    And I guess my train of thought from there went: I am happy.
    (As though I was trying to convince someone else.)

    It may not always seem like it, though.

    I recall an anecdote which kind of illustrates this.  In my early 20s I was doing the Prince's Trust 'course'.  This included a week of outdoors activities such as hiking and orienteering.  Some of the other people doing the course were youth offenders.  And I was terrified of these guys.  At least one of them had been charged with grievous bodily harm, so he said.  (It may not have actually been true, but I'd no way to know that at the time.)

    I was put in charge of keeping order whilst we were all being transported by minibus.  And this GBH offender was refusing to sit down.  He said later that I gave him a look which he found intimating!  When in reality I was feeling at a loss to know how to get him to comply, as I was petrified of a confrontation with him.

    So, apparently I can come across in a completely different way than I realise or intend.

     I feel I'm actually a generally pretty contented person for the most part.

    When I reflect on whether I'm happy with where I am in life, I am.  Yes, there is room for improvement, for example financially.  But on the whole, I'm quite contented.

    If anything, I maybe need to work on my social skills some more.  I've got a feeling that I complain about life stuff more than is 'acceptable', because I find silences in a conversation uncomfortable!  Or if I don't know what to talk about with someone.

    So perhaps that's a bit of a new year's resolution for 2022 for me right there.  I can definitely spend more time enquiring about other people and their interests & life stuff than I do complaining about my own.

Cookies/data
European Union laws require that EU visitors be given information about cookies used and data collected on this blog.  Google/Blogger have added a notice on this blog to explain Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies, and other data collected by Google.  If this notice does not display and you are in the EU, please will you notify me in the comments section.  Many thanks.

Alphabet blogging and Apps II

    If you've been following this blog you'll know that I took some inspiration from the Pagan Blog Project, via The Cauldron forum.  As a self-confessed air-head I needed the prompts to provide me with a source of blog ideas.

    Having completed once through the alphabet (with just a bit of 'cheating'), here's my plan for this blog going forward: I plan to do another cycle through the alphabet again, but with deviations here and there if inspiration strikes (or lack thereof).  So I won't necessarily stick rigidly to the alphabet prompts.  But I will begin again from 'A'.

    So A is, once again, for apps.  Specifically, apps for spirituality and self-care.

    Since my last post about this, I've tried a few more:

Anti-stress

    You might say this is somewhere between a game and a self-care app.  In it you can rake virtual sand in a meditation garden, balance virtual rocks and much more.  There's a good variety of activities and I enjoyed trying each of them out.  But it wasn't for me long term.  I'm not someone who finds those activities relaxing.  But if you think you might, then this app may be for you.  It looked quite nice, too.

Breathly

    A fairly simple app which gets you to breathe in time with it.  There are a variety of breathing patterns to select from.  Useful for following along if you're not otherwise going to remember to do breathing exercises, or if you're someone who can become too anxious in the moment to manage your breath well without some help.

Heal Me!

    A really simple little app via which you can request distance reiki healing, or participate (passively) in a group healing session once a day. It doesn't appear to be invasive, and I couldn't seem to find a catch.  It was easy enough to use, and nice and minimalist in design.  So, where is the harm (unless, like me, your device is low on memory)?

Quantum Healing

    Another simple little app which teaches you how to self-administer 'quantum' healing.  Non-invasive, and apparently anonymous.  Fairly minimalist in design, and easy enough to progress through the sections.  So, again, where's the harm (apart from device memory)?

Twilight - see below

    My top pick this time is Twilight, recommended for anyone who suffers insomnia and uses a mobile device.  (I previously used another app which was meant to do the same thing, but it kept randomly stopping.  So I replaced it with Twilight.)  It's fairly customisable but also easy enough to use, and has proved to be reliable.

    Sadly, I've run out of memory for any more apps on my phone, until it ceases to work and I replace it with something newer (and with, hopefully, additional memory).

Bonus section:  sleep podcasts

    I want to give honourable mention this time to some sleep podcasts I've tried (I listen to all my podcasts on Google podcasts):

• Get Sleepy
• Listen To Sleep - Quiet Bedtime Stories
• Nothing Much Happens
• Send Me To Sleep
• Sleep With Me and
• The Sleepy Bookshelf
  
  (There's also Guided Sleep Meditations but I've not tried it yet)

    The above all seem to be broadly similar, but I think I'm enjoying The Sleepy Bookshelf the most so far.  It contains versions of books such as Alice in Wonderland.  It therefore keeps my interest just long enough to keep my mind from wandering, but not so much that I'll stay awake to keep listening after getting drowsy.  For me, it's Goldilocks.

    PS please see this page for details of how to follow this blog, if desired.

Cookies/data
European Union laws require that EU visitors be given information about cookies used and data collected on this blog.  Google/Blogger have added a notice on this blog to explain Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies, and other data collected by Google.  If this notice does not display and you are in the EU, please will you notify me in the comments section.  Many thanks.