Part 1(b)
My idea for building resilience centers around reclamation. But first I said it's necessary to weather the storm.
So I thought it important to write something about weathering the storm, before doing part 2 of this blog proper.
Full disclosure, I'm right in the middle of a doozy of a storm. The serious ill-health of a close family member, family drama with other immediate family members, my own chronic ill-health and pre-existing caring responsibility for my spouse. Plus a stressful job in which I was already close to burnout before all this.
And I can't claim to be an expert at weathering this, honestly. Some days I feel like the storm is going to force me below the waves. But, like I said, I felt it important to write about this, because I didn't flesh it out in that last post.
So, how am I weathering this storm, or trying to at least?
Support networks are important, and I'm lucky enough to have a good one, with lots of people willing to lend me practical support. And some willing to listen when I need to let my emotions out.
Honestly, I haven't felt any shame about reaching out to helplines at times, too. Here in England we have the Samaritans, among others -- I'll list some at the end.
If your local support network is in any way limited for whatever reason -be it through mobility issues, isolation, practical considerations like the cost of fuel, or whatever- do connect with services to get support. (You don't need to be experiencing suicidal ideation, but if you are it's even more important to please reach out.)
It might be that your employer has an employee assistance programme -- mine even offers legal advice, as well as in-the-moment telephone support for mental health. I've used it a lot lately, for both aspects (but mostly the latter).
Primary health care has been important, too. Here in England we're lucky enough to have the state funded NHS (it very much has it's flaws, such as underfunding, but it is free at the point of use). And I've made more use of it during this time of crisis that I have in a long, long time.
The coach they assigned to keep me on track with the online course recommended self-care. Her suggestion was a bubble bath, but I'm not a soaking-in-the-tub person. So I reflected some and decided that my self-care is taking a nap, with a podcast to help me doze off. I'm so exhausted and depleted, that the extra sleep is a real help, and it just feels refreshing (and indulgent...).
(Now, I am a chronic insomniac, and opinion's divided on whether napping's a good or bad thing. But I like it, and I feel I need to get the rest I can't get overnight whenever else I get the opportunity.)
The online course also mentions that in times of crisis we tend to neglect the very things which can often do us most good, such as healthy nutrition and exercise.
Now, I'm not very good at this one. But here's a really low impact idea to incorporate a little movement into almost anyone's everyday routine, if done numerous times a day: Increase Blood Flow Circulation to Legs and Feet (YouTube)
If it's your thing, relaxation and meditation can help calm the nervous system. I'm a fan, but I have to be in something of a calm place to begin with to get the benefit.
When I'm not in that even-vaguely-calm place, there are a few simple little exercises which I like that can help get me there. Search the following online: 'ear massage for vagus nerve stimulation'; 'the physiological sigh'; and 'the butterfly hug'.
Some of these can be done even in public (or certainly at, say, your desk in the office), without anyone else really knowing. This includes this one, which I'm a big fan of lately: Sternum pressure point for relaxation.
As you can see, I'm quite a fan of YouTube, and -again if it's your thing- watching something which gives you a laugh can take the edge off for a bit. I like cat videos, and sometimes doorbell cams (though I don't really like to see people fall down and get hurt).
It seems even manufacturing laughter can be helpful for some -- I guess maybe it's a fake-it-till-you-make-it thing, or perhaps it's closer to a bio-feedback type of thing.
I also like podcasts, and I've a number of wellbeing focused ones in my feed, including one covering 'non sleep deep rest', which is apparently optimal living daily yoga nidra.
Or perhaps just a bit of distraction might be helpful from a podcast or audiobook with another theme (or just a favourite TV program, but try not to overdo it and spend too much time as a couch potato, if you can help it).
The natural world, if it's available to you, could also be another route you might chose. I've talked in other posts about how phytoncides -essential oils from trees, in short- literally strengthen your immune system (search 'forest bathing' online).
If you don't have a forest or park nearby, some research has shown that even viewing images of trees can calm the nervous system. If you haven't got photos of holidays in nature you can look back at, maybe just do some web browsing on a daily basis (but do try to avoid too much screen time).
Moving meditation can be helpful -- mindfulness walks are popular now, but if that's not your thing then perhaps some at home tai chi, via an online tutorial, might be more like it. Tai chi walking is being touted as a good route to getting fit online lately (but I can't really speak to that as I've not tried it).
Are any of the above a magic bullet? No, sorry. But maybe just think of them as tools in a weathering-the-storm toolbox, and try them out to see what works for you.
And please see below for that list of resources I promised (past blog posts, podcasts, websites and a few YouTube channels).
Take good care, and hang in there if you're weathering a storm too.
'Resources' -- past blog posts:
~ https://portraitofperpetualperplexity.blogspot.com/2020/06/apps-for-spirituality-and-self-care.html
~ https://portraitofperpetualperplexity.blogspot.com/2020/07/fork-theory.html
~ https://portraitofperpetualperplexity.blogspot.com/2020/07/optimism.html
~ https://portraitofperpetualperplexity.blogspot.com/2020/08/searching-for-cure-all.html
~ https://portraitofperpetualperplexity.blogspot.com/2022/01/alphabet-blogging-and-apps-ii.html
~ https://portraitofperpetualperplexity.blogspot.com/2023/09/research-your-therapy-type.html (this one contains quite a long list of other websites and resources I compiled previously, so I do recommend clicking into it and scrolling to the end)
Resources - podcasts
~ Hypno Wellness, from Cindy Brainerd
~ Neuro Zen, from 'Neuro Zen Institute'
~ White Lotus Reiki, from Chris Brember
~ Get Well With Me, from Adrianne Hart
~ Desert Voices, from Shaleen Kendrick
~ Wellness for the Hot Mess, from Kristen McGrath and Lexi Rodriguez
~ Affirmations for Spiritual Health and Wellbeing, from Affirmations by Christina
~ as mentioned above, Non Sleep Deep Rest, Optimal Living Daily Yoga Nidra
(I use AntennaPod podcast app, it's free on Android)
Resources -- websites (UK):
~ https://www.thecalmzone.net/ (Campaign Against Living Miserably)
~ https://www.mind.org.uk/
~ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/
~ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/your-mental-health
~ https://www.samaritans.org/
~ https://giveusashout.org/ -- 'Shout' helpline, text 'shout' to 85258
~ We are Rethink Mental Illness
Also, as mentioned above, my past post
https://portraitofperpetualperplexity.blogspot.com/2023/09/research-your-therapy-type.html contains quite a long list of other websites and resources I compiled previously, so I really do recommend clicking into it and scrolling to the end for that list
Resources -- YouTube:
~ www.youtube.com/@jasonstephensonmeditation and www.youtube.com/@TheAwakenedMind
~ https://www.youtube.com/c/SimpleHappyZen
~ www.youtube.com/@TherapyinaNutshell
[See part 2 of this blog in due course for the review of the online course.]
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